His Sexuality

The body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. I Corinthians 6:13

This chapter for me was huge the first time I went through the book. I remember spending night after night in agony over this topic. This time around, a little fine tuning is definitely worth it.

I think the most challenging part of this topic is the fact that when I'm feeling unloved, I need affection from him, like quality time together, or snuggling on the couch. When he's feeling unloved, he needs sex. When we're both feeling unloved, a very vicious cycle can evolve: I won't give him physical contact,
and he won't spend time with me. With lots of prayer and self discipline I have
discovered that if I go ahead and allow myself to be given over to him,
after prayerfully considering my attitude, that he in turn is then much more ready to fulfill my needs.

When we were seeking counsel years ago regarding our wounded sex life together,
our counselor recommended we take an entire year off from sex altogether as a healing time. This was met with opposition from - get this - both of us! At first, I was thrilled- a whole year without having to worry about sex! But, when I really thought about it, it didn't quite seem right for some reason. The Bible tells us not to deprive each other but for a very short time of mutual consent. Can you imagine the temptation that could befell someone with a year of abstinance within a marriage? We promptly left the counselor, but all of a sudden my husband and I had a common
ground. This was the beginning of our healing after all! We both went through a period of self examination, and he knew he could not demand anything from me and get a great response, and I knew that my body was meant for my husband, and it was not my place to deprive him.
It took many years, and I still could easily go without! But just to see what an impact it has on my husband as a man makes me realize it is my job to make him feel loved, and that desire is deep inside of me now!

I know there are many women out there who struggle with this issue, and I am not an expert by any means, but I would be more than happy to email anyone who wants to discuss it further, or even to have me just pray for them.

Lord, ...I realize that an important part of my ministry to my husband is sexual. Help me to never use it as a weapon or a means of manipulation by giving and withholding it for selfish reasons. I commit this area of our lives to You, Lord...Make it all that You created it to be.

One More Before We Move On

Just a final thought on work and finances before I move on to other topics. We are still struggling to gain a profit from our home business, and subsequently my husband has been having major doubts as to whether he is doing the right thing with his life, and because of these doubts, he has not been putting one hundred percent of his effort into the business. His mind has been elsewhere, thinking about going back into the dreaded workforce, etc.

Well we came to another crossroads as a family, knowing that our savings will only cover one more month. And after prayerfully considering all options, and waiting on God's direction, an amazing thing happened: He answered our prayer of what to do next!

I sat down and told my husband that I believed he was doing exactly what he was meant to be doing: running this business. I said I thought he just needed to apply himself completely and continue to trust that God provides. And guess what- he agreed! He said that was exactly what he was thinking, and then he told me his new goals he came up with for the business. Let me tell you, I took that as a divine answer; when the two of us are on the same page about something, it is a major clue things are going in the right direction.

The interesting part of this is we did not chicken out. We did not decide that God isn't going to pull us through and that we better get employed. We truly believe that God is and will continue providing, even though we can't see the outcome from where we stand yet.

I am so excited to see my husband succeed at this, and then to tell you about it!